No Analysis
No one has really analyzed the stocks.
As Mr. Monkey is unable to analyze the stocks and due to the fact that he really is the sole manager of the monkey SPAC, no analysis shall ever be performed on any of the stocks he picks. We just listed the stocks of the major American indexes and sometimes, preselected the most volatile ones.
No Trading
No one is trying to buy the stocks at a discount or to sell them at a premium.
As Mr. Monkey does not like to bargain, no one is trading the securities or amending the choice made by Mr. Monkey. Anyway he would not allow that.
As Mr. Monkey does not like to bargain, no one is trading the securities or amending the choice made by Mr. Monkey. Anyway he would not allow that.
We Offer a Full Range of Inexistent Services !
Do you think You can pay us to actually work? No way! We are not stupid human beings.
Skills Set
Smiles with all teeth, whether dirty or not!
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Permanent reasons to laugh
Looking at monkeys makes humans laugh about their similarities to human attitudes. Well, monkeys don’t and are very upset about it.
Absence of Thought except about food!
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Peer Recognition Well Established
Forbes stated it clearly: Any Monkey can beat the market!
Business Insider Australia confirmed it in plain English: Monkeys are better stock-pickers than fund-managers
No Financial Emotions
Top financiers and traders claim that anyone in investments and finance should control their emotions. Well it is easier for us Monkeys! We have positively NO EMOTIONS for money. All we care about is Food and Sex!
Low cost
We only charge bananas.